You, Me and Old Letters

As Yahoo! went down, I decided to check on my old conversation in Y! Mail. Then I arrived there, to the folders created to save all of the letters from you. I was young and pure and innocent when I wrote them all. Oh Gosh, it has been very long time. More than ten years ago when we first started writing letters to each other.

By the way, I'm listening to The Cranberries songs right now. One of your favourite musicians of all time. Hey, do you still love them? I mean, you have grown up and I notice some changes in you. I wonder if you're still into The Cranberries.

You know, life is funny sometimes. It seems like yesterday, you were waiting for me going home from the mosque during Ramadhan, in front of your computer. And then we chatted all night long. Like nothing bad happened while a lot of unfortunate events were going in my life. But at least I had you that time, to comfort me. Now here I am, in a very far away place from you. Just finished my Tarawih, decided to open Skype and you are not there. You know, when life gets rough, sometimes I want to write a letter to you. Like I used to do before. But this time, everything is different between us. You have found someone, and I'm on my way to do the same thing.

Hi Dear, I convince myself that I've moved on. I know I have. But it doesn't mean I don't wanna see you anymore. I wish one day I can meet you again, and we can be best friends then.

Right now, I keep the old letters we used to write to each other. Smile and wish us all the best in life.

For You, Whom I Keep Mentioning in My Prayers

What kind of romance I keep wishing? Well, of course not like our story. The part when I fall for you is to be honest, very embarrassing. I didn't plan for it, well to fall in love with you this deep. But I tend to fall for the wrong one, instead of the right one. It keeps happening since years ago. Once, I want my heart to choose a guy depends on his love to Allah.

"Love in silence" is what I'm trying to do. I never speak out about this feeling, loudly while I know I feel it. I keep this feeling in the corner of my heart, wishing it will be gone. But it is not gone... yet. There are moments when I really want to walk away from you and gain my own happiness. Then everything changes while I see you as a little lost lamb. You look like a person who needs a guidance. It is not entirely your fault, because your life experience makes you this way. At this very point, I want to be there for you. Ready to open my arms, if one day you have the will to go straight.

Every day and night, I pray for you to find the light. Even when we're not meant to be together, I still wish you would find it one day. The light that will bring you a true happiness, something I never be able to find in your eyes. And I promise to be there for you if it comes...